I'm pretty sure that I will be thought of as either a loser or a cheat for this, but I'm saying it anyway. One of my hobbies are reading literature study guides from the internet.(Oh you know, like Sparknotes?) My favourite website is actually one. It's called Shmoop. And just recently I discovered one of the coolest scientific facts ever through this website and I HAD to have it in my blog.

When he wrote his Special Theory of Relativity, Albert Einstein calculated the speed of light as 3.0 x 10ˆ8 meters/second. This means that light isn't just everywhere at once—it has to travel from its source to its destination, and it always travels at the exact same speed. Have you ever heard of a light-year? We bet you have. Think Star Wars. A light-year is simply the distance that light can travel in a year. As you can imagine, a light-year is a very long distance since light travels extremely fast (the actual distance of one light-year is just under ten trillion kilometers). So what does this all have to do with stars? Well, by applying the speed of light to the study of space, astronomers realized that the stars we see up in the sky when we're out having a romantic evening might not even be there anymore. When we see a "star" at night, we don't see the star the way it looks today. Instead we see light emitted from a star long ago—light that may have taken ten billion years to reach us. Light as old as the universe itself. It's a fascinating concept; to look into the night sky and literally be looking into the past...Some astronomers estimate that if aliens actually existed, they would be at least 200 light years away from us. That means if these supposed aliens were able to look into powerful telescopes and watch us, they would see us in powdered wigs and buggies. That's right, they would be seeing us in the early 1800s, because the light that our earth emitted 200 years ago would just now be reaching them. Ridiculous! But true.

I'm recently just coming to accept that the man I like does not at all like me back. I had filled my head with stupid delusions that the sideways glances and indirect smiles and accidental touches actually mean something, but all that was there was my longing stares and sighs in class as he sits on the other end of the classroom, completely unaware of my existence.
Normally, I would blog about my heartache for days but for now I will just spend my days mending this broken heart by focusing on school work(God knows I badly need to do that). I can't afford to emotionally invest myself to people(who don't care about me at all) so much. Well, I have been listening to a playlist full of depressing songs as a soundtrack to this episode of unrequited love. That's about as emotionally invested I could get.

"You are my sweetest downfall."

I'm guilty of being a Katy Perry fan. She's my guilty pleasure. I've loved her ever since Teenage Dream and I even named my 2010 blog after that song. ("We'll be young forever.") Well today she released a new music video for The One that Got Away and it kind of brought me back to this fantasy I had and blogged about in my 2010 blog. But now, as I quote Andrew McMahon/John Lennon, "The dream is over." (coincidentally that's the name of my current tumblr blog and I'm planning on changing this one to that, too) I've grown up a bit and although a part of me still wants this, I'm more focused on other things. (Such as that hot new barista in Starbucks. Who cares about art majors when this guy can make me a good cup of Chai Tea Latte? kidding!)
So here goes. May 2010:

So my ideal college life has to do with dating an art major from a school of arts. Holding hands, we'd walk downtown at night, going to smoky pubs and night poetry reading shows. Then we'd be watching drunk twenty something girls laughing at each other, clearly wasted with their eyeliners smudged off, while calling a cab. We'd watch the night lights around main street. Then I'd kiss him, my hands holding the strap of this vintage camera wrapped around his neck. My fingers would slowly tread higher, feeling his warm black beanie on his head. Feeling cold, they'd go under the beanie, playing with his hair and gathering the warmth. We'd walk back to the small studio apartment we're renting. He;d step on the hundreds of black and white photos of us scattered on the floor, but he wouldn't care, because we both embrace each other to the warm soft bed right beside the window. There'd still be noise outside, hinting that the city's still wide awake, yet we'd ignore them because we're so absorbed by the sound of our skin touching, his lips brushing my ear, and just cuddling throughout the night. I'd be so tired I wouldn't wait to hear the sound of his light snoring tickling my ear. I'd fall in slumber with his fingers stroking my cheek. I wake up the next day seeing the sun shining so bright to my right, and to my left is him sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the wall, with a camera covering his face, taking pictures of my silhouette waking up. We'd live like that every day, not caring about the future, only focusing on now, because now is forever and forever is now.

Okay, some fantasy. I think fine art students are the best people to fall in love with, but I don't really see the future with them. What happens after college?
I wish people cared more about the arts, then I'd live happily ever after with my art major boyfriend.
Just imagine, and english major and an art major dating. That'd be great during college, but after college, they'd probably turn into Cassie's parents in Skins. Life like teenagers, but broke.

basically my curiosity has been killing me
apparently blogger now has this feature where you could see which countries the people who viewed your blog are from and i kind of got obsessed with it
i wish i never found out about this feature because i really would rather think that this is my secret world and nobody cares enough to check this except for myself
however the damage has been done and i am aware of the 20 something views i received this month
 well, whoever you are viewing my blog, if i do know you, please do not tell me that you are viewing this. it will make me conscious of my audience and conscious of my posts, which isn't the purpose of this blog. this is why i end up deleting more than half of my "personal" tumblr posts.
so
please stay anonymous, whoever you are.
unless you're danabel
because she's cool

Labels: nonsense

forgive me, for i am stuck again, drowning in my own pool of self-destruction

Labels: i'm broken

Labels: i wrote a poem, i'm broken