**please excuse the immense amount of typos. I was typing this through my dad's iPad and I already make enough typos using a normal keyboard, what more if I use a touch screen one, right?
Hi
Ugh I have this entire poem already mapped out inside my head ENTIRELY about Evan Rachel Wood. Actually I've even written down a few lines/stanzas but i still lack the motivation and time to write the whole thing down.
And... I'm slightly fearful that my obsession with her is becoming very unhealthy, especially since the poem is in the point of view of a man having romantic feelings for her (though he denies it). So I have theories 1. that the poet inside of me is more masculine the feminine. Or 2. I adore the idea of men actually expressing their feelings of love through words that I subconsciously try to bring this to life by... being the man myself. That's quite sad isn't it? I prefer sticking by the first theory/

In partially related news, my thoughts have spoken in the language of stanzas, verses, lyrics. My walk home from school would mostly consist of possible first lines of poetry I would never even write. There is so much inspiration, and my head is screaming at me to take advantage of this, but typical of me, I let my laziness and procrastination take over.

Well I could always use the alibi of school and being too busy. It is my last year of high school, and everything feels... rushed. It's just the first week and I've had assignments every day, which might not be saying much but honestly, this has never happened to me last year. I used to have on average around two assignments due every week, not this much. I mean look at me now! The only time I have to blog is at 2 in the morning, during a three-day weekend (which actually is going to be spent doing homework). I know that I reallly really shouldn't complain since there are more people out there who have more homework but I normally never do homework. This is a huge change for me!

I still can't believe I'm here. (haha actually I've been playing around ideas of surrealism in my head lately. lots of thoughts about that in my journal.) (Just a side note: how bogus is it that I have a journal, a blog, a tumblr blog, and a twitter that I all use pretty actively? Heh. Guess this just proves how much I observe things then overthink them.) Ugh. Well I guess now's the time for me to read a book and hopefully get my mind off of this.

Oh! And I actually watch this new (don't judge me!) MTV show called Awkward. It's actually really good. I mean, sure, some parts make my roll my eyes because of its typical high school plotlines, but just look at it's title: Awkward. It may not be so obvious in this blog, but I am extremely awkward. And i absolutely hate it when people say that ("I'm awkward") because almost always the people who say that are NOT at all awkward. However, I am legitimately awkward and just the tiny detail that I haven't admitted it until now (since, clearly, I'm not really proud of it) proves that I really am. I think it's just fitting for a person who's sincerely awkward to actually like a TV show called Awkward. The script is actually really good. Good lines, and as a person with a love for words, good lines is an extremely important part in a TV show for me to like it. And the girl there blogs! I mean, she's why I'm staying up late here to blog right now! She inspired me! Hah.

That was a joke.
I just have a lot of thoughts lately. Which hopefully I'll be able to escape from once I move on to the world of literature. Here we go.

Labels: nocturnal thoughts